Fuckin' 'Ell It's Fred Titmus

Oh I was walking round my local store

Searching for the ten pence off Lenor

When suddenly I bumped into this guy

On seeing who it was I gave a cry

“Fuckin’ ‘Ell, It’s Fred Titmus!”



Oh Jane was pushing baby round the park

When all at once she saw her husband Mark

Well he was with a man down by the stream

So Jane and baby both began to scream

“Fuckin’ ‘Ell, It’s Fred Titmus!”



Oh as the train pulled into platform three

I looked around for my best girl to see

As she disembarked but I didn’t seem to care

‘Cos someone passed that made me stop and stare



Oh Dracula comes from Transylvania

Stevie nicks books about kleptomania

Johnny looked out of his bedroom window

And shouted to his mum “Fred Titmus!”