People

Do you ever think about

What a lovely place the world would be

Without all the people

That make life so unpleasant?

All the small, petty people All the ugly, annoying people

It's hard not to think about it

I like to think about

What could be

Done to these people

Something cruel

Something mean

Something just

But the meaner the better

Goodness knows they deserve it

Have you ever dreamed of

Killing all the stupid people?

Not just the unintelligent people

But the sort that don't know anything about anything

But seem to have opinions about everything

They're only too ready to offer their advice about

How to run your life

And yet look at how they run their own lives

For the most part they've accomplished nothing

They've contributed nothing

Their lives are miserable

But they talk, talk, talk…

At the very least their tongues should be cut out

At the very least

Do you ever wanna

Kill all the people who tell lies?

Some certainly deserve it

Not necessarily the big liars

Or even those who teach lies as truth

I'm talking about people

Who say one thing and do another

Or who tell you they sent something express mail

When you know they haven't

Did you ever want to

Kill all the slow people in the world?

The people who are in front of you

When they should be behind you

A crime that the swift should be help back by the slow

And it's criminal that nothing is going to rectify it

And what about all the really ugly people?

Add them to the list as well

Some people try not to think about life's ugliness

I've thought about it

I've thought about it quite a lot

Something should be done to these people

Something to make them suffer

The way they've made us suffer

I say, bring back the Circus Maximus

For starters

Unless these weeds are dealt with

They'll poison everything

They are poisoning everything

We need a gardener

A brutal gardener

A thorough, thoughtful gardener

An iron gardener

Whatever happened to Vlad the Impaler?

Where's Genghis Kahn when you need him?

Or Roi d'Ys?

Ayatollah Khomeini?

Adolf Hitler?

Benito Mussolini?

Nero?

Diocletian?

Kitchener?

Come back!

Come back!