School Mam

A fine day for the classroom and the pupils are here 
Julie's got a headache but the others don't care 
Sarah's got to stay behind and help with the drill 
Teacher's got his eye on her 
Moves in for the kill. 
Nobody can see or hear the things that they do 
All the books stay closed, there must be something they do 
Only teacher knows about the subjects they span - span 
Education's secondary, being a school mam 

Oooooeeee! 
Teachers doing fine as far as I can see 

Being a school mam 
Long holidays in the summer 
Being a school mam 
Free milk in your coffee break 
Being a school mam 
Government paid monthly salary checks 

Noises heard the principal investigates 
She turns on all the cameras but it's too late 
Catches both their pants down in a passion war 
Hasn't seen it happen since the day she was born 
Reaching down for glasses that just can't be found 
By the time she finds them, why their down on the ground 
Tossing and a turning they've got feverish hands 
Lead can be so fluid when you're being a school mam 

Oooooeeee! 
Teachers doing fine as far as I can see 

Being a school mam 
Controlling promiscuity after hours 
Being a school mam 
Giving out detentions by the dozen 
Being a school mam 
Give her fifty lines (of speed) 
Being a school mam 

Sucking on her fingernails she can't believe what she's seeing 
She's seeing something close to what appears on the screen 
Locks her door, with trembling hands and her hearts beating very fast 
She pretends she's down there on the floor in the class 
Gives herself to teacher although he doesn't know 
Works herself into a frenzied state and it shows 
Sarah's almost at the top but try as she can 
She can't reach her helter skelter 
Down with the school man 

Just watch her go and help her try if you can 
Use your twentieth century imagination - if you've got any 

Oooooeeee! 
Now she's at the top and teacher sets her free 

Being a school mam 
Disgusting behavior 
Being a school mam 
All over the parquet flooring 
Being a school mam 
Letting the flood gates open wide 
Being a school mam 

Now the principal collapses dead on the floor 
With contentment on her wrinkled old face ever more 
She went out the very best way that an old woman can 
She was where the action was 
Down there with the school man 

Oooooeeee! 
Teacher never will discover who could see 

Being a school mam 
One and one make two if you're very lucky 
Being a school mam 
Two twos make four if I remember correctly 
Being a school mam 
Four fours make sixteen and sixteen's over age 
Sixteen and sixteen makes thirty two 
That's approaching middle age 
Thirty two and thirty two makes sixty four 
That's OAP land 
Sixty four and sixty four makes a hundred and twenty eight 
A hundred and twenty eight divided by three 
Let me pause for reflection for a second
But teacher! 
Three doesn't go into a hundred and twenty eight exactly, 
But it goes forty two and a bit 
Forty three, forty four, forty five, forty six, forty seven
Forty eight, forty nine, 
Forty nine, point one, forty nine, point two, forty nine, point three
Forty nine, point four, 
Forty nine, point five, forty nine, point six, forty nine, point seven
Forty nine, point eight, 
Forty nine, point nine, 
Forty nine, point nine, 
Forty nine, point nine, 
Forty nine, point nine, 
Forty nine, point nine, 
Forty nine, point nine, 
Forty nine, point nine, 
Forty nine, point nine, 
Forty nine, point nine, 
Fifty!