I Heart L.A.

I heart la 

  I've got what letters one would need to spell winter 
  Safe in the belly of a white paperpinch 
  I hurried folding 

  This is exactly the sort of mood that 
  I cannot watch movies in 

  Boys nerves all yelling "arm" into the blood brain barrier 
  Ganging up on now inside the big bone holding up my face... 

  My father was born in the 40's 
  They had just finished erecting the oakland apartment 
  I now live in... 
  Since then... 
  Two single mothers and a man who cut his face have lived there. 

  Day after day... 
  This is the day after desperate 

  My room has filled with 
  Day and night 
  And night and day 
  Since then... 

  My father has called twice and left a message 
  The electricity is on... 
  These are the least of my worries 

  The moles on my penis remind me of skulls 
  And all the doctors who would quickly 
  Cut them off and eat them 
  As they take down art in hotel hallways 

  Probably to the tune of plain old heart failure on a rollaway 

  They hurt in the dull 
  At the hinge to both eyes 
  The no place of an ache 
  Where you push and pull when trying to fall asleep 

  Soon things kick in severly at the nape 
  Of my patience 
  As the worm inside my spine contracts 

  I see me pouring cum out of 
  The corner of a dug up shoebox 
  Across the hope lump of an old pet 
  Onto a large bundle of grain 

  I think what's wrong with the world 
  Has to do with those who fell in love with new york 
  Or los angeles or paris and jerusalem 

  And me of course 
  Flagged in modern sneakers 
  And perfume of my morgue mouth meat adore... 

  If i could only travel back in time and kick my mother in the face after 
  A permanent 

  This would nothing 
  And feel better or worse 
  In the necessary softening of all my bones 

  There is more to life than manicured vaginas and a saline solution 

  The no place of an ache dangles 
  Body all around it. 

  I've got no new spelling of the word winter 
  For the me on the other end of this airplane.