Stinkfoot

[includes a quote from Dragnet (Schumann/Rosza)]

In the dark
Where all the fevers grow
Under the water
Where the shark bubbles blow
In the mornin'
By yer radio
Do the walls close in t' suffocate ya
You ain't got no friends . . .
An' all the others: they hate ya
Does the life you been livin' gotta go, hmmm?
Well, lemme straighten you out
About a place I know . . .
(Get yer shoes 'n socks on people,
It's right aroun' the corner!)
Out through the night
An' the whispering breezes
To the place where they keep
The Imaginary Diseases,
Out through the night
An' the whispering breezes
To the place where they keep
The Imaginary Diseases, mmm . . .

This has to be the disease for you
Now scientists call this disease
Bromidrosis
But us regular folks
Who might wear tennis shoes
Or an occasional python boot
Know this exquisite little inconvenience
By the name of:
STINK FOOT
Y'know, my python boot is too tight
I couldn't get it off last night
A week went by, an' now it's July
I finally got it off
An' my girl-friend cry
"You got STINK FOOT!
STINK FOOT, darlin'
Your STINK FOOT puts a hurt on my nose!
STINK FOOT! STINK FOOT! I ain't lyin',
Can you rinse it off, d'you suppose?"
Here Fido . . . Fido . . .
C'mere little puppy . . . bring the slippers
"Arf, arf, arf!" (crash-crumble-bump-bump-bump)
Heh heh heh . . . sick . . .

Well then Fido got up off the floor an' he rolled over
An' he looked me straight in the eye
An' you know what he said?
Once upon a time
Somebody say to me
(This is a dog talkin' now)
What is your Conceptual Continuity?
Well, I told him right then
(Fido said)
It should be easy to see
The crux of the biscuit
Is the Apostrophe(')
Well, you know
The man who was talkin' to the dog
Looked at the dog an' he said: (sort of staring in disbelief)
"You can't say that!"
He said:
"IT DOESN'T, 'n YOU CAN'T!
I WON'T, 'n IT DON'T!
IT HASN'T, IT ISN'T, IT EVEN AIN'T
'N IT SHOULDN'T . . .
IT COULDN'T!"
He told me NO NO NO!
I told him YES YES YES!
I said: "I do it all the time . . .
Ain't this boogie a mess!"
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
(POO-DLE . . . )
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
( . . . BITES)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
(POO-DLE . . . )
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
( . . . BITES)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
(POO-DLE . . . )
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
( . . . BITES)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
(POO-DLE . . . )
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
( . . . BITES)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES